Friday, November 14, 2003
Off to Panama (via San Diego) on Sunday for a couple of weeks.
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Tuesday, November 11, 2003
While I was away:
Tory party replaced a leader who's main quality was uselessness with someone who has politics to the right of Genghis Khan (or should I say with the politics of David Blunkett) and the personal appeal of Robin Cook. Well done guys, start preparing for government.
No person on the street can answer a political question without talking about 'asylum seekers' and blaming them for all our ills. Well done Mr Blair, for putting enough crap out there to emulate the same environment that gave rise to Nazi Germany.
Shock horror, Wales can play rugby!! People seem to want to give Steve Hanson much credit for this. Give me a break!! I'll give him credit for getting people fit and organised in defence. However, I have difficulty believing that it was always his big plan to suddenly play his third choice team (three players who haden't even come on as subs for games against mickey mouse countries), tell them to defend like dogs, and forget about the straight-jacket structure he'd had them playing to since he started and to play some rugby instead. The guy just lucked out. Also, If Shane Williams could cause such mayhem against the defence of the two best teams in the world, imagine what Gavin Henson could have done - and he left him at home!! Lets keep the conditioning coach, the guy who managed to get all the Ozi sports heros in to fire up the guys (I hear he even tried to get Bush in to talk to them, if that isn't going to get you fired up I don't know what is!!), and get in the cripple from Llanelli in. Hanson can go back to his daughters in New Zealand.
I returned to Cardiff on Sunday night wearing a pair of sandals. Either my naked feet have become more attractive over the last few weeks with the addition of some blistering and a light tan, or I've learned to love them through exposure. Anyway, it was pissing down in Cardiff and there was a large queue for taxis so I was forced to drag my case home through town with wet feet. The rugby had been on at 10 that morning, Cardiff stank of 'all dayer's'.
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Monday, November 10, 2003
Been in Oz for two weeks for the Rugby World cup.
Things I learnt whilst in Australia:
About Drinks:
All Australian beer is crap. In desperation I moved to drinking bottled beer, namely Corona. They seem to have a national shortage of limes, instead they insist in putting a slice of lemon in the neck of a Corona, making it taste like Carling-top Disgusting!!. My worst drink serving experience came when I ordered Macallan (Scotch Malt), and it came in a glass full of ice.. I'm surprised they didn't see fit to mix it with Coke.
Bombay Sapphire gin is far superior to any other make. Insist on it when you order a G&T (even though they may charge a few pence more).
A couple of extra spicy Bloody Marys can replace an entire meal.
About being paranoid about your appearance/behaviour:
Going to a publishing cocktail party featuring D-list Ozzie celebs makes one paranoid about one's posture.
Going to a packed gay bar makes one paranoid about one's campness.
About Juke boxes in Gay bars:
S Club doesn't go down as well as expected. Choose Danni Minogue if you are after a crowd pleaser.
New words / terms added to my vocabulary:
'Australian'. This is in reference to our observation about the (un)attractiveness of Sydney women. One can use the term 'She's definitely Australian' to point out an ugly munter, conversely 'She's definitely not Australian' can be used to bring attention to a fox (by the end of the holiday the standards had been set so low that this term would be suitable for anyone without major deformity).
'Fatty's Leg'. As in 'I'm/it's/she's Fatty's Leg'. This is from quote from Twin Town where Fatty's Leg is described as being 'F@cking F@cked'. So 'I'm feeling a bit Fatty's Leg this morning' means 'I'm f@cked'.
About Cards:
How to play (four card?) Cribbage
Things I've never done before:
Played to 1000 points in Chinese Poker
Books I read:
Vernon God Little , DBC Pierre - worth a read, didn't take me long. Looses it at the end of the book.
The Art of Travel, Alain De Botton
Koba the Dread, Martin Amis - engrossing, appalling, and taught me not to fall into the trap of Lenin admiration 'cos he wasn't like the other guy'.
Books I started reading, but gave up on because they were crap or unreadable or annoying:
Dead Air, Iain Banks - crap, Banks should stick to writing about Scotland and not London.
Dude, Where's My Country, Michael Moore - I officially hate this guy now, I may agree with his basic politics but the guy is an annoying, arrogant, American twat.
The Search For The Dice Man, Luke Rhinehart - crap, got about half way throught it. I enjoyed the original dice man book.
Loaded (magazine) - Expected it to be like FHM, but it was nothing but Sex and naked women being interviewed with the same banal questions (have you ever been with another woman? Where is the strangest place you've had sex? What is your famous footballer boyfriend like? Would you ever consider having sex with someone who is working class?. Gets a bit monotonous after a while (the first 2 pages).
Books I bought, but didn't get around to starting/finishing:
Baudolino, Umberto Eco
Spanish phrasebook - Incase I go to Panama next week. As usual with a modern phrase book I went straight to the section on chatting people up and having sex with them. Amazing that they suggest you can get that intimate enough with someone you have absolutely no communication channel with, where you need to consult a phrase book for the phrase 'I can't get it up, sorry', or 'Don't worry, I'll do it myself'. Even better would be needing to use the phrase 'We'll work it out', in the 'relationship problems' section. No, I don't think you will. If you can't understand a thing you are saying to one another. Most of us would struggle to say the right thing here when we have the same first language!
Things I resolved to do:
Buy and wear a poppy for next year's Rememberance Sunday/day.
Never find myself 37,000 feet above Turkmenistan while Wales are kicking off for an important game of rugby.
People I saw
David Campese, in a shop
Graham Henry (and entourage, including most positions in a female netball team), in the pub
Some pictures from Oz. Excuse the adverts.. and I assume I'll run out of bandwidth soon.
(0) comments
Things I learnt whilst in Australia:
About Drinks:
All Australian beer is crap. In desperation I moved to drinking bottled beer, namely Corona. They seem to have a national shortage of limes, instead they insist in putting a slice of lemon in the neck of a Corona, making it taste like Carling-top Disgusting!!. My worst drink serving experience came when I ordered Macallan (Scotch Malt), and it came in a glass full of ice.. I'm surprised they didn't see fit to mix it with Coke.
Bombay Sapphire gin is far superior to any other make. Insist on it when you order a G&T (even though they may charge a few pence more).
A couple of extra spicy Bloody Marys can replace an entire meal.
About being paranoid about your appearance/behaviour:
Going to a publishing cocktail party featuring D-list Ozzie celebs makes one paranoid about one's posture.
Going to a packed gay bar makes one paranoid about one's campness.
About Juke boxes in Gay bars:
S Club doesn't go down as well as expected. Choose Danni Minogue if you are after a crowd pleaser.
New words / terms added to my vocabulary:
'Australian'. This is in reference to our observation about the (un)attractiveness of Sydney women. One can use the term 'She's definitely Australian' to point out an ugly munter, conversely 'She's definitely not Australian' can be used to bring attention to a fox (by the end of the holiday the standards had been set so low that this term would be suitable for anyone without major deformity).
'Fatty's Leg'. As in 'I'm/it's/she's Fatty's Leg'. This is from quote from Twin Town where Fatty's Leg is described as being 'F@cking F@cked'. So 'I'm feeling a bit Fatty's Leg this morning' means 'I'm f@cked'.
About Cards:
How to play (four card?) Cribbage
Things I've never done before:
Played to 1000 points in Chinese Poker
Books I read:
Vernon God Little , DBC Pierre - worth a read, didn't take me long. Looses it at the end of the book.
The Art of Travel, Alain De Botton
Koba the Dread, Martin Amis - engrossing, appalling, and taught me not to fall into the trap of Lenin admiration 'cos he wasn't like the other guy'.
Books I started reading, but gave up on because they were crap or unreadable or annoying:
Dead Air, Iain Banks - crap, Banks should stick to writing about Scotland and not London.
Dude, Where's My Country, Michael Moore - I officially hate this guy now, I may agree with his basic politics but the guy is an annoying, arrogant, American twat.
The Search For The Dice Man, Luke Rhinehart - crap, got about half way throught it. I enjoyed the original dice man book.
Loaded (magazine) - Expected it to be like FHM, but it was nothing but Sex and naked women being interviewed with the same banal questions (have you ever been with another woman? Where is the strangest place you've had sex? What is your famous footballer boyfriend like? Would you ever consider having sex with someone who is working class?. Gets a bit monotonous after a while (the first 2 pages).
Books I bought, but didn't get around to starting/finishing:
Baudolino, Umberto Eco
Spanish phrasebook - Incase I go to Panama next week. As usual with a modern phrase book I went straight to the section on chatting people up and having sex with them. Amazing that they suggest you can get that intimate enough with someone you have absolutely no communication channel with, where you need to consult a phrase book for the phrase 'I can't get it up, sorry', or 'Don't worry, I'll do it myself'. Even better would be needing to use the phrase 'We'll work it out', in the 'relationship problems' section. No, I don't think you will. If you can't understand a thing you are saying to one another. Most of us would struggle to say the right thing here when we have the same first language!
Things I resolved to do:
Buy and wear a poppy for next year's Rememberance Sunday/day.
Never find myself 37,000 feet above Turkmenistan while Wales are kicking off for an important game of rugby.
People I saw
David Campese, in a shop
Graham Henry (and entourage, including most positions in a female netball team), in the pub
Some pictures from Oz. Excuse the adverts.. and I assume I'll run out of bandwidth soon.
