Monday, June 23, 2003

Went to Johannesburg zoo yesterday for lack of anything better to do. I have one annoyance and one fear concerning zoos. The annoyance being the fact that you always run into the same people you queued up behind to buy tickets. This happens no matter which demented route you decide to take through the zoo to avoid the situation (yesterday I was doing crazy things like mixing my raptors with my big cats). You’ll still only manage a couple of minutes stuck in the remotest part of the zoo at the ‘world of a stick insect’ exhibition before they turn up.
The fear I have didn’t apply yesterday, as I visited the zoo on my own. It’s the fear that your fellow visitor sees themselves as a bit of a Rudyard Kipling and decides to give voices to al l the animals you see. Inevitably most of the animals sound like a retarded Homer Simpson and say something along the lines of ‘He-llo Ger-aint, I’m a …….. do you want to be my friend?”. I have had nightmares about such a scenario, I can cope with animals talking, but not with someone ‘making’ them talk in a lame way.
To be honest about zoos, apes are the only remotely interesting things they have. Most other animals are either mundane, useless, or asleep (or a combination of these). Apes pick their noses and muck around with a cardboard box for hours, they throw orange peel at the gawking visitors, or just splash their hand continuously in a pool of water for twenty minutes. All things I’d love to be able to get away with myself.

Also found quite an interesting area of Jo-burg with some bars, restaurants and shops. Stopped there and had lunch.

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